Thursday, October 9, 2008

Putting the scale in perspective

By Jove, I think she's got it !!!

I have a real desire to be under 200 pounds by the end of this year, and being early October with the scale saying 229, I think it is a reasonable goal. I know how to do this- stay withing points for intake, get in my health goals and get in the activity. I have been doing this and it has got me 41 pounds lighter in almost a year. It could have been more, but due to the fact that I am dealing with menopause and insane hormone patterns, it is what it is.

My father summed me up quite accurately as a child when he called me a hard head. I was the kid that you told no and then worked my damnedest to prove you wrong. it caused some rather interesting times in my younger years, but as an adult has served me well. I do not accept the status quo or pronouncements that something is and must be because ..... ( you fill in the blank). I have this strange sense that that was then, this is now, that was them, this is someone else and rules are meant to be broken. It is starting to apply to my weight loss journey as well.

Amongst those in Weiht Watcher circles, there is a popular saying that you should only weigh once a week, the scale lies and only the scale at your meeting counts. All completely untrue , by the way. Statistially those who have a healthy maintanable weight step on every day. Your Doctor and your insurance companybelive very much in that number, and not that you suddenly fir in last years jeans or that you feel lighter. The scale does not have a personality, an agenda or attitude. it is an innanamate object that measures the energy of your gravitational pull termed as weight. Nothing more, nothing less. That number is a number- nothing more and nothing less. I have decided to not listen to the myths for the last two weeks in an attempt to isolate what I might be doing that is working with my hormone shifts and causing me to gain wo weeks out of the month. In other words, trying to learn just what I can do to break out of this pattern. So every morning I weigh myself in an attempt to learn what is working and what is not. last week was a steady loss, but this week has been a steady gain, in spite of being perfectly on program and increased activity ( minimum of 60 minutes of aerobic work every day).

I was feeling very anxious about this yesterday, and then suddenly I started remebering who I was when i started this journey. I felt really bad. I was constantly tired, in pain and just walking down to the mailbox seemed like a marathon. I coud do one thing eah day, and that was it because of lack of energy and pain. I was wraping my life around food and using food as a subsitute for all the things in life I was missing out on beause of lack of energy and pain. And guilt.

Now, I am a lot more active, a lot more mobile and as a family we are doing so much more. I am not the same person who started the journey, and neither are the guys. Now I can even consider the possibility of someday doing something like one of the various walks for charity. I can even begin to considder....gasp...running !

One I began thinking about this, somehow the number on the scale seemed less importaint. It is still a goal, but it seems that the me inside is showing results a lot faster than the innanimate object is. Knowing this is helping me to breath a little easier.

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