Wednesday, June 30, 2010


Been a week of wrapping up last minute things, making lists and working hard to create study cards in preparation for very long car ride to Tennessee this week, peppered by attempts to reign in the "lord of the Flies" atmosphere with my son. So far, so good. I am having him make some of his own meals in order to get a better grasp at portion sizes, for one thing. It is one thing to look at what a half of a cup of something is in a bowl , but it makes a deeper connection if you are the one actually measuring it out for yourself. I also had to hide a few things till he regains some control.

As to myself I am still doing the energy exercises and working through some hands on learning of the body meridians. It is really interesting , and I am finding that with practice I am able to actually feel the subtle energies with each. I find them on myself and then check them our on Nick or Bob to help my mind clarify. it strikes me a similar to learning a new language, and practicing with the sedating/stimulating/reflex points helps to really understand how this "thing" flows through the body.

Our mini indoor garden is thriving, and we have a couple of still ripening cherry tomatoes on the plants. Nick is really excited to see that he did indeed pollinate the flowers correctly and now fresh tomatoes will happen in a couple of weeks. Gardening with kids is always a rewarding project- the process of the natural world often comes off as something magical to them.

Foodwise, we seem to have moved into a bit of a rut - lots of salads, roast veggies and simple meats for dinner, hummus and veggies for lunch and cottage cheese , fruit and granola for breakfast. I am hoping to get into a more exciting round of things when we get back from vacation, but for now it is kind of use it up and stay the course mode.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Weeks results

Another Saturday and another weigh in. This week I did not count calories, points, watch my intake, exercise, watch sugar grams , fat grams or anything else. I at what I wanted, and tested it energetically for my body. The only exercise I did was the energy medicine protocols that I described earlier this week. Here are the results

Me- DOWN 1.4 pounds
Nick UP 1.4 pounds
Bob DOWN 1.8 lbs

As I said in my previous entry, Nick has kind of been living in a "Lord of the Flies" world at the moment- or like most college freshman who are suddenly away from home and eating according to whatever. I did a few of the routines with Bob this week , as a kind of homework.

My conclusion is this works. It is not that you can eat non- stop junk and do this and lose weight. For one thing in doing this it is very doubtful that you will have any compulsion to eat junk because your body will be balanced. I honestly belive in the case of most overweight people something goes wrong with the energetic framework of their bodies and they no longer assimilate food properly. When food is not assimilated in the right way, the body goes into survival mode and makes you over eat to compensate for the lack. Several things cause us to get out of balance- repetitive movements, emotional shock and a bombardment by electromagnetic frequencies. If you are losing weight using the conventional "eat less move more" model, keep at it. You are one of the lucky people who have not been impacted by these environmental factors. However, if you are doing all the conventional things and the pounds are not moving , perhaps it is time to consider adding something like energy medicine and one of it's protocols ( acupuncture, EFT, Massage therapy , Quantium Touch, Reiki or so forth)

This weeks goals- for me continue on the same path and clean up the "Lord of the Flies" existance that son is in. going to work some energy medicine on him as well.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Re-tooling my brain

Have you ever felt like there was too much information and not enough room in your head to fit it in ? That is kind of how I am feeling these days ! Meridians, lymphatic reflex points, sedating and stimulating points, massage points with lions. tigers and bears...Oh My !!! I have taken to making note cards for myself, covering them with contact paper and putting them on a big fat ring to help me remember them all ( and bring the notes with me to study when I get those odd moments of down time. I never did that when I was formally in school, but when I discovered this idea for homeschool, it struck me as a brilliant way to fly !

I have been working the energy medicine routines on myself, and I am noticing there are a lot of times when I just do not feel like I want to eat, no matter how tasty the food in front of me is. In the past , when I felt this way i would often tell myself that I should eat because the next meal is scheduled for ** time or that there will not be an opportunity go eat again till *** o'clock so I best eat now. For whatever reason, these massage exercises have made my brain flip some kind of switch and it is now if I am not hungry , food does not even really register as something that needs to be done. I have found several meals just kind of sitting there. The energy testing of food seems to have clicked and I am noticing that I am able to perceive if a food is compatible or incompatible with my energy just by being near it.

I am not sure what will happen with weigh in tomorrow. Nick has kind of fallen into a "Lord of the Flies" scene with eating. He knows what is good and bad for him, but also knows that if mom is occupied he can get away with murder ( suck the normal kid behavior !). I have seen evidence that he is sneaking food in the middle of the night - something he had NEVER done till we started this weight loss through traditional methods . I am reminding him of better alternatives and other behaviors, but at the moment it is kind of like a girls gone wild episode in his mind - or a spring break type thing. One step at a time- find what is working with me, then teach it to him.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Still here

Just a quick note- I am still here, working with the energy routines and energy testing food.Yesterday I made a big leap of faith kind of stem and enrolled in The Energy Medicine Institute. I believe in this so much I want to learn all I can and use it to help others. I am not sure exactly how I will apply this knowledge ( a private practice ? Volunteer work ? Teaching ?) , but I do know that the first step is to learn it fully. Life is to short to hesitate, so I decided to toss all hesitation and confusion to the wind, take a deep breath and enroll in distance courses. Let the adventure begin !

If I am silent it is not because of a lack of motivation or loss of interest in weight loss, but rather I am working on approaching this ( and many other human conditions) from a whole new angle, and it takes time to really learn the approach. It is, after all, a disciple of medicine, and that is never a quick study course

Monday, June 21, 2010

Working with energy

Hope you all had a nice Father's Day ! It was a kind of quiet, relaxing day for us that involved the making of a batch of home made butter pecan ice cream. Actually it was home made custard as it had no actual cream but several eggs. Didn't count the calories or points, made it with evaporated milk and Splenda, and simply ate a normal sized serving of it. It was very good.

I have not been focusing on calories, points, fats, sugars or anything food wise. it is not that I have given up ( I have not) but I want to see if this idea of having my body's energy meridians not flowing properly and working to correct it a legitimate try. I energy test all food before I eat it , and every day I do the following energy medicine work out to balance my energies. I will list what it is, and if you are interested in the exact way to preform these they are found in the book Energy Medicine for Women by Donna Eden

Temporal tap 5 times throughout the day
Daily routine
1. Three Thumps
2 Cross crawl
3.Wayne Cook
4.Crown Pull
5. Lymphatic Massage
6.Hook Up
7.Zip Up
Energy medicine work out
1. Connecting Heaven to Earth
2.Liver Meridian flush
3. Triple Warmer Smoothie
4. Sedating Kidney Meridian
5.Sedating Liver Meridian
6.Grandmother's self empowerment
7. Opening Central Sexual Channel
8. Diaphragm Breath
9. Hormone Hook Up
10, Stimulate Estrogen and progesterone production
11. Thyroid Booster
12 Testosterone Triple Massage
13 Bone Saver
14. Metaolic Breath
15 Massaging Ileocecal and Houston's Valves

I also include the following twice a day

Reiki self Treatment
Hatsuri Ho

I have to say I feel more calm, and my complexion is looking a lot more alive than it has in a long time. While I am not certain of the affects on my weight( yet), I do believe it has had a positive impact on my overall health.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

A Father's Day Card

And now for something complete different - a Father's day card to the best dad in the world , who happens to be Nick's best buddy, my best friend, love of my life and second half of my soul. Done to an old Groucho Marks song he likes to sing every Father's Day

Today father is Father's Day

and we're giving you a tie

it's not much you know

it;'s just our way of showing you
we think you're a regular guy

You say that it was nice of us to bother

but it really was a pleasure to fuss

for according to our mother you're our father

and that's good enough for us !

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Weigh in and what if ?

Weigh in

Me DOWN 1.0
Nick UP 2.2
Bob UP 1.4

We have all eaten the same ( guys a little more because the male body requires a few more calories than the female, all moved exactly the same level. ONLY difference is that I have been working with Qigong and Energy medicine on myself, and I lost.

This coming week I am going to try something completely radical. I am going to energy test all food for my body , and no matter what it is follow the results as to my eating it or not. I am abandoning all forms of conventional physical exercise in favor of energy workouts. It is the only way I will know for certain that it works.

I have a theory- and that is obesity is not necessarily cause by substances in foods or the amount of food but rather that it is being caused by living in a world filled with electrical devices. All of these things that make our life so much easier create a kind of electromagnetic pull that throws off our bodies meridian energy. When the meridian energy is altered, the body no longer works in balance. With our energy out of whack in our digestive system, we no longer properly absorb nutrients or process them. Deficiency is the result , and that leads to numerous illnesses, including emotional things like binge eating. Don't think this is so ? Consider how many minutes of your life you spend every day, not in the presence of some electrical device ? There is your alarm clock in your bedroom , lights and perhaps even a tv, radio or computer. In your bathroom is lights and perhaps a battery operated scale or tooth brush. Your kitchen contains a refrigerator, lights, microwave, numerous small appliances , your dining room contains lights and then there are all the devices in your living room. If you are health concious you strap on a Body Bugg or pedometer, go for a run with an MP3 player, cell phone, GPS device or work out with an electrical device ( or at least battery powered read out) device. Computers. cell phones, TV- all of these things operate with electricity and any electrical device has a degree of resonance or electromagnetic field. What if we are all simply environmentally sick ? And if it is energy that is throwing us out of balance, energy can bring us back into balance.

Or so I currently belive

Friday, June 18, 2010

Revving Up, Paring Down! (Energy Medicine for Women)

Somethign new about PCOS- at least to me

Okay, I have to admit that nothing makes me feel more alive than when I am cracking some mental mystery. I can lose myself in it for months, and forget just about anything else in life in pursuit of it. If I find the right pathway, the right wording attached to an explanation that allows me to find the logical progression, I get hopelessly lost in learning all I can, and o reach a state of bliss. Such happened yesterday. After breakfast and 30 minutes peddaling i was prompted to pick up a book on energy medicine that i had bought and read over a year ago because something was telling me that there was something in there I needed. Once there I found a small little paragraph that shed a spotlight on one of the problems that women with PCOS face. It is a point in the hormonal cycle where things go haywire. The female hormonal cycle is not just a dance of estrogen and progesterone , but rather a complex interplay of 14 hormones. One of which is FSH- folicle stimulating hormone. One of the jobs of this munchkin is to increase the blood supply to the ovaries, making them move closer to the falopian tube in anticipation of ovulation. It then signals to a folicle to get this party started and produce this months pagent queen( an egg). This in turn makes the pageant queen ( egg) turn into corpus lutiem and begins to produce GABA, which affects our moods. If GABA is produced too quickly ( or too much in the case of PCOS women who have several agent queens attempting to get on stage at once and the stage collapses, so they become cysts instead of eggs, but still produce massive amounts of GABA together), it floods the adrenal glands ( which is command central for the hormone dance). The Adrenals literally freak out and begin to produce cortisol. Cortisol is kind of the General Patton of the hormone world. It runs through screaming "we are under attack ! This is not a drill ! " and the body tenses up, begins to store things in anticipation of having food supplies cut off and the body acts accordingly. It begins to store abdominal fat, around the middle like a spare tire. Estrogen makes women store fat in there hips, breasts and buttocks in preparation for carrying and nursing a child, but cortisol says forget about that - we are all gonna die !!!!!!!!!!! Cortisol yells violently at estrogen and it begins to sneak off and hide like an abused woman. For this reason , PCOS women were often out on birth control pills because it was believed that the root cause of all the problems was the fsh hormone. Since then the mindset is that the root is a metabolic disorder, but now some are begining to see that the root problem lies in an energetic weakness in the kidney meridian. Meridians are the channels through which our life energy or essence flows. In the west we almost never hear of these , let alone know how to help or heal them. In the east however, they are the focus of acupuncture, acupressure, qigong and other such practices.

All in all, it tells me that I am right on with the gut feeling that my reasons for this very long weight loss stall have more to do with a stuck energy problem than calories or movement. I want to learn more and work to re balance this.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Bellies- making them dance and putting food in them at lunch

First off- the link to the Youtube video on Belly dancing can be found here- it is the first of 4 parts. Suzi asked for it , and it dawned on me that while belly dancing is fun and effective, it is not easy to find a class and a lot of women may not feel comfortable with doing these kinds of exercises in front of anyone else at first. Our culture has such a predisposed idea about belly dancing it seems ! Yes, it is sensual and beautiful, but it also directs energy through the body in a way that we in the west are just beginning to understand. Being able to do this in the privacy of your own home ( with shades pulled and the dog blindfolded) gives you a chance to experience it and see if it is something your body might benefit from.

Now that the pressure is off with school, I seem to have jumped into my own summer stuff easily. Good thing, as it may indicate that I will not have such a difficult time when homeschooling ends next summer. I jumped further into my own studies, started to make a new batch of arnica ointment and had fun exercising at a little less time stressed pace

pedal 30 min
QiGong breathing exercise
Smiling at Organs
Five animal frolics (QiGong)
Belly Dance workout on YouTube
Resistance bands
10 triceps
10 qadraceps
10 glutes
10 biceps

Food was on track but a little repetitive. Cottage cheese again for breakfast ( I give up trying to snap pictures of white food in white bowls) a chicken breast with green beans and quinoa and salad for dinner, but this breakfast for lunch swap for lunch

You take 2 eggs, a quarter cup low fat mozzerella, a feild worth of veggies... actually part of a zuchini , a couple green onions sliced, some mushrooms sliced and red pepper chopped and season it with garlic, dill and tumeric. Filling, healthy , tasty and pretty inexpensive. Scrambled eggs can become a kind of "refrigerator velcro"- heat or saute any leftover veggie or stray fresh one in a pan, crack an egg over it and you have a kind of unfiddly omlette. It's a good go to meal idea when in a pinch. To be honest , I was having way to much fun studying energy medicine and playing with herbs to really think a lot about what to feed people.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

School's out

In spite of my best efforts, it seems brain cells in my son have gone to "Lala"land, and it is either take a summer break or do harm to our relationship, each other, several trees and more. When "Up" becomes a number and so forth,it's time to take a break. Sometimes he just needs to have stuff gel. So School is out for summer !

Amongst my notes and studies about the body meridians, I came across an article that was comparing the benefits of belly dancing with things like tai chi or qigong for it's abilities to get the energy freely flowing in the meridians and stimulate the lymphatic system, and I remembered having a Video of a pair of Belly Dancing for Fitness twins. It was very enjoyable exercise till my son started laughing at me while I was doing the tape and trying to hang all over me while I exercised. I stopped, he is older and also works out, so I wondered if I could find this on Youtube . SCORE !!!! I decided to add this to my exercise routine. If nothing else,belly dancing is a great way to strengthen the muscles that can prevent women from having things like bladder and uterine prolapse and some of the more unpleasant side affects of menopause. Besides that, it's fun ! So yesterdays exercise looked like this

QiGong breathing exercise
Smiling at Organs
Five animal frolics (QiGong)
Belly Dance workout on YouTube
pedal 30 min

Breakfast and lunch were the same ( swap hummus for the corned beef) but dinner was another variation on a polenta pizza- this time with roast veggies
In this mix was zucchini, asparagus, mushrooms, red pepper and red onions. Simply slice them and place on a cookie sheet to roast with the polenta crust.

Polenta Pizza

1/2 cup milk
2 1/2 cups water
1 c cornmeal
1 T oil
toppings as desired

Bring milk and water to a boil, whisk in cornmeal, stirring
constantly till the mixture is as thick as oatmeal. Remove from
heat and stir in 1 T oil. Spread on a baking sheet to a depth of 1/2
inch, cover with plastic wram and refrigerate 1 hour.Bake at 425 for
25 minutes till it begins to crisp. Prepare toppings( cook your sausage,
vegetables, etc). Place on crust, top with cheese and return to
the oven for 5 minutes, or till the cheese melts.
Here is the finished product with a salad- romaine and watercress topped with fruit salad. We seem to agree tat we are totally addicted to fresh fruit as the only topping for a salad. I don't know why- it just seems to pair so well !

Other good news- I finally found what I am going to wear to this outdoor wedding this Saturday. After searching the stores and not finding what I wanted, I remembered that I had a nice sleeveless summer dress in my closet. It's kind of a funky thing, but can be dressed up or down. I have no idea how casual or how dressy this wedding will be, so I decided that if I added a form fitting tee shirt under it , it would make a cute jumper kind of thing ( and prevent me from going on the quest for a strapless bra.
I like it- and now I just have to figure out what shoes to wear, what to do with my three hairs, make up and all that. At least I will have free time to ponder with school being over !

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Mommy school

During the summer, Mondays and Fridays are going to be the days where I have a bit more "me " time, and it proved to be a busy one. I had plans set , and the best way to fuel them was with a good breakfast and get my exercise out of the way first. We had cottage cheese with fruit salad and homemade granola to get the party started

I am beginning to think that there is nothing more difficult than taking a picture of cottage cheese in a white dish ! It is there- trust me. Exercise was as follows
pedal 30 min
QiGong breathing exercise
Smiling at Organs
Five animal frolics (QiGong)
40 minute walk
Resistance bands
10 triceps
10 quadriceps
10 gluts
10 biceps
The resistance bands were inspired by a tv commercial that showed this great exercise chair for seniors. The chair makes a whole lot of sense for so many reasons !

Next I picked up on further study of meridians and nutritional support. Something in the back of my mind keeps telling me that I am dealing with an insufficiency in my kidney meridian , and that is the root cause of the arthritis flares. There has been a high demand for reiki the past few weeks and it seems to correspond with when the flairs started getting really bad. Reiki does not do any harm and what i channel is not my own energy, but the energy flows through me much in the same way water flows through a pipe. If the pipe has a bit of rust, the increase in water flow can make it burst after a time, and no matter how pure water appears to be it contains particles that will build up as a sediment, and when the sediment is cleared it can stress the pipes. Intense study reminds me of my college days and other times when I crammed information. Eventually you wind up saying things like "can't brain any more - thought hurts !"

Lunch was a quick grab- hard boiled eggs, a slice of corned beef rolled up, a peach and some celery and carrot sticks. Easy to eat while I tried to catch up on email and further reiki requests.

Dinner was another crockpot meal- Tomato Florentine sausage soup with salad ( romaine, watercress and fruit salad) I am noticing these bowls are really nice for soup as they are very shallow and spread things out so they cool fast. What you are looking at here is 2 cups ( measured in a measuring cup) of soup, but because it is spread out it looks like a vat of soup. Same thing with the salad- a fistful of the cut greens and 3/4 cup of the fruit salad. I love that these bowls make it so easy to toss stuff when you eat ! I was at Walmart yesterday afternoon for an errand run and I was looking at some of the summer kinds of dishes, but decided to pass on them. While they are colorful and fun looking, they would not allow for quick cooling, easy mixing or stack so well in a cabinet !

School today. Hopefully it will flow smoothly

Monday, June 14, 2010

Lazy Sunday

Yesterday wound up being a very lazy day ! It started out with intentions of doing more productive things, but fell into a happy, peaceful chaos that just made me smile a lot.

It began with breakfast
A bowl of oatmeal that was cooked with a third of an apple, third of a pear and topped with about a third of a cup of blueberries. My new portable personal French Press completed the scene- just plain coffee with sugar free french vanilla creamer. It felt like a french vanilla kind of morning. Then I made the mistake of stumbling on to a bunch of old photographs that I thought my siblings would get a kick out of , so I started scanning in pictures and putting them up on facebook. One of the best things about facebook is that you can post pictures and anybody can save them to their hard drive and do whatever they want with these. We have been coming across old photos of our great grandparents , various aunts and uncles and this way everybody gets a copy. Some of the photos just made me crack up- like this one

It is of one of my nieces, and it always makes me belly laugh ! She is now a young woman who will soon begin her own family with the love of her life, but in my mind she is always going to be this cute little munchkin I think !

By lunchtime the idea of being lazy productive was gaining more appeal.
Baked turkey burgers on Earth Grains thins with fruit salad made an appearance. I baked the burgers because I did not want to waste time digging out the grill. After lunch I was still scanning, re- reading notes on the lymphatic system and Bob was working next to me on some project for work. Nick was not feeling the greatest ( sniffles and just worn out from last night's concert) , and fell asleep. So what do mom and dad do when the kids take an unplanned nap ? Or more importantly , do things change between two people who have been married a long time ? Let's just say that this is the way families increase in size :-)

Dinner was perfect for a lazy day - pot roast in the crock pot. I had planned this because we were going to be out and about, but now it just made a nice lazy kind of meal

So there you have it- a lazy Sunday with no guilt. I think it is psychologically healthy to take a day to just kick back, putzy play and enjoy the company of the ones you love. This morning I feel ready for the world...or at least a small corner of it

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Afterall, it is a work of art.

I have to admit, after yesterday morning's weigh in I was feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. I was REALLY tired of all the menu planning, the squeezing in time to exercise, the encouraging and motivating of my son to do the same week after week for almost three years now and remaining at this hellish stuck/quicksand/plateau for the better part of two years. Constantly having to think up healthier alternatives for every single event that comes along for the three of us, creating a homelife that would serve as a haven to the challenges that we face, dealing with my own hormonal insanity , and seeing the numbers go up. Yet again. It is one thing to see my own numbers go up. PCOS makes weight loss very tricky and when you add perimenopause to that equation, you have more success spinning a chicken over your head and offering to hook the scale up with a handsome Droid phone next week if it gives you a good number than any moves to eat less, move more, eat only___ calories /fat/protein/grains/gluten/pink foods/foods bought only on the left hand side of the isles and so forth.Hormones rule like a Communist Dictator in a police state in my case. It bites, but it is. However, when the guys ( who have no hormone issues) gain for absolutely no reason, it makes me crazy. Crazy , stressed, analyzing every single meal/day/activity/additive and so forth. If that happens to hit at a time when other life issues are also pressing ( let's not even begin on those), I do not do well at all.

We had plans to attend a concert last night. It was a fund raiser put on by a Missionary order that involved a singer and a jazz quartet doing selections from "the great american songbook". We decided this would be a good event to attend for several reasons, but some juggling of stuff had to happen in order to go. We would have to go to Mass as a family, as Bob was scheduled as songleader/cantor, then out to dinner and back for the concert.Both Mass and the concert were held at Church number one, of the Catholic denomination. I was baptized as a Catholic, we were married in the Catholic Church, Nick was Baptized as a Catholic, and Bob is an Ordained Deacon, but I am not Catholic. I enjoy the artistic flow of mass ( what is not to like about statues, stained glass, music to fit the moment and readings from some good literature as well as someone's observations on those readings ?) , but as a non - catholic there are certain parts that I do not participate in , and I always joke that the church is going to collapse on me because I entered in. I do love watching Bob do his thing and hear him sing. He has a very good voice , and it seems that as he ages his voice is getting a richer tone to it than it had when he was younger. And being a church, God speaks to people, in rather mysterious ways. God chose to remind me of the reasons I began this journey and hog tied the guys into this. Bob sat in the front pew and Nick and I sat in the pew behind him. Nick was having a weird day because he got to wear his very first pair of pants with a belt and a zipper. He has been too big to wear anything other than stretchy pants his whole life, and dealing with the whole mechanism of constricting pants, a fly and a belt is a rather daunting thing for an autistic with texture sensations. As we sat down on the pew it began to creak, which instantly reminded me of the fateful day the bench collapse under the weight of the two of us, which began the whole journey. I instantly became VERY nervous, and Nick picks up on my feelings , and he starts becoming very clingy. Then an elderly woman sat next to us, and we were pretty much trapped in for the whole service. Bench creaking, Nick hanging and clingy and disconcerted because the pants and having mom there for the first time in a long time, me thinking God is going to colapse the bench under us as a joke, watching my husband and having numerous spontanious reiki energy draws happen due to several ill parishioners ( as a reiki practitioner there are times when a person , without their knowledge, taps into a practitioner for healing energy and there is no way to stop it. It is not bad or painful, just a little disconcerting). !

We made it through the service with no bench collapse( Thank you God), then out to dinner at Sweet Tomatoes. Good ole salad bar and soup, no longer a problem since gluten was not found to be the culprit. Leisurly dinner, and I realized that it has been about 19 years since we have been out on a Saturday Night other than going to my mom's house or some other family thing. Last "date" Bob and I have been on was 6 years ago, and that was to go Christmas Shopping. Last thing we have gone out to as a couple to have fun was a month after I found out I was pregnant with Nick - before I got placed on total bedrest.19 years ago- no wonder I felt odd ! It felt very odd- fun but odd ! We have no babysitter, and while Nick is technically old enough to be on his own, mentally he is far from that point, and it becomes even harder to find a "babysitter" for him, so we do everything as a family. After dinner it was back for the concert. It was small. intimate, and at points Nick was beginning to look like he was going to start "stimming" from the volume of the music and such, but he controlled it. There is an energy exercise called The Wayne Cook Posture that helps to settle a neurological "storm". I taught it to him a while back to help when things get really tense with school and so on. He remembered these and discreetly did them when he was getting tense. The concert was nice, but it reminded me of how Bob and I were when we first got married and how very much our life has changed . Ministry is a wonderful thing. Homeschooling is a wonderful thing. Parenthood is a wonderful thing- but with all of those wonderful things there is a cost. Suddenly I found myself looking at it all, wondering if the paybacks were worth all of the costs. Was healthy living getting me anywhere ? Were the commitments of ministry worth all of those trade offs ? Would life not be a whole lot easier packing Nick off on a school and letting someone else sort him out and educate him ? Wouldn't it be easier to just tell sick people to go back to yet another doctor or accept the fact that no one lives forever ? I felt myself judging things by the value scale that seems to be the norm for the rest of the world , and it felt like we had failed on almost every level of life. Lots of sacrifices, few rewards and time running out like grains in an hourglass. Then on the way home we flipped on the radio and heard the song Pride/In the name of love by U2, and it hit me hard

"In the name of love, one more in the name of love"

All of the choices we have made were based out of love, and like many other love based actions it felt like we were being crucified on a lot of fronts because of each. It's not a good place to be at mentally. Then Nick kept asking if we could stop for ice cream, I told him no and felt a huge wave of mommy guilt for that answer. I was denying the kid of so many things in the name of love/doing the right thing. We did not stop, went home, and I was feeling really unsettled. We turned in and I said some things that I never should have said, and in doing so I was reminded of one of the great big truths that I have come to learn. It is not important that my life or actions are perfect according to the world's guidelines, but rather that my life is perfect in accordance with MY life. With OUR life. We are not like everyone else for many reasons. Normal is simply a setting on the dryer and every living being is a work of art. A Picasso is brilliant when you place it in a cubist classification, but really sucks when viewed as an impressionist work. Beethoven's 5th comes off as really bad if performed by The Black Eyed Peas ( "da da da..gotta get get"). A fish does not do well on a bicycle. Our life is what it is because we flow through many different channels, and it is perfect to facilitate the whole package. My reiki clients could care less what my number on the scale is, and same is true with the people Bob serves through music. Nick's sens of compassion and humor is not driven by that number either.He will also never be beaten up for his lunch money or placed in a special classroom, but I don't think those things are necessary to become a contributing member of society. Being able to juggle things so that we can be available to serve does not involve how much we have lost or gained in the previous week either. However, eating healthy , getting in some exercise and avoiding less healthy choices most of the time will fuel the soft machines that we require to get us to the places and things we must do.

This morning I feel better. I do not want to beat someone to a bloody pulp with a kettleball and then skin their carcass with a treadmill because they toss at me information about how to lose weight. I know that what I am doing is making me the best that I can be with what I have been given, and that is enough. It may not fit many people's definition of success, but I bet none of then can channel an energy that can and has healed things like canceous tumors or heart abnormalities.They also would not have the sensitivity to preform a piece of music with the nuances necessary to bring another human being to a mental place of worship. Nor would they be able to see an emotional need of another as clearly as a color of a flower.They are artists at making a number on a mechanical device stay within a certain limit, and that serves as an inspiration for many people. It is there very good thing...but I must remember that just because it is not my good thing does not mean I am bad or flawed. I am just an artist who works with a different medium.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Weigh in

Eat less, move more ...


Me- UP 1.6 lbs
Nick - UP 2.8 lbs
Bob - UP 1.6 lbs

Friday, June 11, 2010

Old friends

Yesterday's exercise

pedal 15 min
QiGong breathing exercise
Smiling at Organs
25 minute walk
100 isometric chest presses
"pull your navel in towards you backbone" thingies
5 animal frolics (QiGong)
50Power Knees
30 wall push ups
45 calf raises
40 Bridging

It was amazing I got any of this done ! Between school and getting tons of messages from old friends on Facebook , the day was a total blur of activity. It did make me realize one important thing though- I aspire to be a hermit ! Seriously. It is not that I dislike people- I love them and think they are a great idea. However, there energy gets to be painful. I get hit with the unspoken chatter and things in their energy field, and it feels like I am suddenly in a revolving wind tunnel, trying to read all the papers flying around me because they have something importaint to say.I dislike crowds for the same reason, and gatherings of anything more than 5 people exhaust me because of all of the nonverbal chatter. This is one of the reasons why I chose the spiritual path I have. Anyway, coming back into the fold with old friends was nice, but time consuming and really exhausting ! After dinner I felt myself mentally crashing and just wanted to spend time hugging a tree or something.

Not sure what today's workout will look like. Nick seems to be really bothered by some air born thing at the moment, and it is usually an indication that his room and the carpet require some deep cleaning attention. We have a date with a rag, bucket and the carpet shampooer, then later this afternoon grocery shopping and an appointment with Mt Chop Me. I may not hit the bike, but I will certainly be moving !

Thursday, June 10, 2010

If I use scotch tape , perhaps I can hold this smile in place

Yesterday's exercise

pedal 20 min
QiGong breathing exercise
Smiling at Organs

On the light side yesterday as we ran into a real snag with school, and it took a marathon session to help Nick understand the concept. A 20 minute lesson became a 4 hour thing that felt like a Jillian Micheals last chance work out, but for the brain. It was a blindside hit !

Autistic children often have problems comprehending things that do not have a concrete example to back them up. You can say the door is open and they understand. If you said that the door was ajar, they would be totally confused looking for the screw top lid. Prepositional phrases can take a long time for them to understand and even longer to create on their own. Yesterday's exercise dealt with writing similes and metaphors, and he simply does not get it. It started out "A smile is like a sunny day" , to which he looked confused, felt my face and said that it was not hot.I attempted to explain, and we were getting no where fast. He could not understand that if you say that an apple is like a ball it was not the same as saying I like an apple or I like a ball. I don't drink, but by the end of the day I was really wishing for a stiff one !

He still does not get it...heavy sigh

Then it was on to menu planning, as shopping has to happen on Friday because of commitments on Saturday. This begins a stretch of Saturday commitments and a lot of eating out. Concerts, weddings, birthdays - all happy occasions but really odd that they are all clumping together . I really have to rely on the calendar to plan through all this good stuff. Is it just me or is this summer busier than normal ?

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Smiling at my kidneys

Yesterdays exercise log

20 minute walk
pedal 30 min
40 isometric chest presses
100"pull your navel in towards you backbone" thingies
5 animal frolics (QiGong)
QiGong breathing exercises
Smiling at Organs
25 Power Knees
40 wall push ups
50 calf raises
10 Bridging

"What on earth" you may ask is smiling at my organs and how is this an exercise ??? Sounds like a lot of fun and potentially very silly, doesn't it ? It is an exercise for Qigong- something virtually unknown in the west , but has been a part of the oriental world for about 4 thousand years. Qigong translates to mean managing life energy or directed breath, and is used in healing, martial arts and so on.To practice Qigong is much like swimming through air in appearance. To the unaware it looks like a very mild version of Monty Python's Ministry of Silly Walks or a mime out of make up. What it does is help the flow of subtle energy throughout the mind, body and spirit. In the body it manipulates a system of energy meridians as well as the lymphatic drainage system and major organs in a gentle but effective way. One of the principles is that love is one of the greatest ways to bring healing and balance and that joy brings harmony to the body. Therefore to smile at ones organs ( heart, lungs, kidney, liver and spleen) is in a sense delivering a boost of antioxidants to these organs on a spiritual level. This can help manipulate "stuck " energy and bring healing and vitality. I am a reiki worker who works with subtle energy for 50-70 clients a week , and I have reason to believe that some of my physical issues are a result of stuck residual energy. Qigong can help remedy these clogs. I have heard about qigong and practiced a few of the exercises in the past, but never that seriously. The other night in my dreams " a little bird" told me that these exercises would be of great benefit to me, so I sought out a training program and committed to working through the exercises. Hence, I now do five animal frolics, breathing exercises and smiling at my organs . For now- more will follow.

And almost instantly I am noticing some very dramatic changes. The biggest is with my bladder ! Without going into great detail, let me say that I was able to go an entire three hours without visiting the bathroom. Nothing was different about this day except smiling at my organs.I began to have really serious bladder problems on the day of one of my reiki attunments three years back. Since then, it has ruled my life in more ways than I care to mention. When doing the smiling at my organs exercise for the first time it felt very pleasant but nothing beyond that. The day went on and I began to notice I had to use the bathroom less and less frequently and my knees and hips were feeling a lot more stable. We went shopping for some travel needs last night ,in the rain and damp, and I was able to walk through the whole trip without pain, AND did not need to find the bathroom. Hmmm.....

I plan on continuing the exercises as well as the physical ones. I found pedaling to reruns of Will ad Grace to be a very pleasant way to spend time in the morning.Nick has decided to use the bike thing while playing Guitar Hero- something that makes me crack up when I watch him ! And of course this joy fills our home, making it feel more peaceful and restorative to all the humans as well as the plants. Smiling at my organs and smiling in general is indeed a very good thing

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Walk in the woods and plans

Yesterday I was one of the affected bloggers due to the outage, so no entry for the day . Sure...tell me I cannot play in the sandbox !!

Last two days have been good for exercise. 45 minutes on the bike on Sunday and 30 minute walk with various and sundry other exercises yesterday. food has gone well, but my body is showing signs that Mother Nature is wrapping up a gift for me, and I will almost assuredly see a gain this week. Which makes me wonder if there is some deserving organization that would like to have my works wrapped up and delivered to them ! When you are done with babies, the whole process seems like a complete waste of time and energy- and accompanied with a lot of annoyances !

But I press on. Vacation is coming up , and I want to be mobile for it. We made reservations last night on line, and were amazed at the price difference between Gatlinburg and Wisconsin Dells. In this area the Dells is a popular vacation option because it is close, but most of the "on the strip" hotels will cost you about 175.00 per night for two, and that is before the 20 dollar a head admission fee to any of the water parks or what not. We are going to stay in Gatlinburg for 3 nights for less than the price of one night in the Dells. We are blocking out 4 days for the adventure - one day to drive down , two days to do the town and one day to drive back. 15 hour car trips are something I have not done in years ! We plan on devoting one day to The Smokey Mountain National Park and one day to the Ripley's Aquarium and a few other attractions. I want to touch a stingray and Nick wants to see the sharks. Should be a lot of fun. Even those few things are going to involve a lot of walking, and then swimming in the evenings back at the hotel, and stamina is necessary.

Yesterday we went to the woods for a walk before dinner, and I am noticing that walking is getting a little easier still. There is still a lot of stiffness when I first stand up, but once I get moving the stiffness is dissapearing and my thigh muscles are working better. The bike and the other assorted exercises are helping. The pain was gone long enough that I was able to focus on the plants growing at this time. I was reminded that in this area cincfoil, horse chestnut and elders bloom when the Solomon's seal gets it's droopy berries- right before the catnip flowers and the echinachia blooms. It's a rhythm I had forgotten !

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Pressing matters

Another good day yesterday . Shopping for groceries, but a detour to pick up a replacement to our French Press coffee maker. It met with a tragic fate as I accidentally knocked it off the counter in a rush to do all things that needed to be done, and if shattered. At one time french press pots were very hard to find in this area, but now they are becoming common. Not only did we find another large pot at Target, but these handy dandy wonderful personal travel presses

I was about dancing in the isles, and so was Bob . Now good coffee can come with you anywhere ! What is the deal with French Press pots ? For many it is a taste issue, but for me it is a health one. I used to drink coffee from a Mister Coffee type machine , and after the unit got to be about 2 weeks old , coffee would start to make me sick. No matter how many times I cleaned the pot, the machine and the tank, I would get sick if I drank coffee. If I drank from a commercial coffee maker or an old fashioned percolator , I would not get sick. I finally figured out that it is the little rubber hose that delivers the water from the reservoir at the brewing part that was doing it ( commercial units have copper pipes and not rubber hoses), and the answer was find a percolator or something else. I learned about the french press, and not only did it prevent me from getting sick from coffee, but it made the best cup of coffee ever. I would encourage anyone who has a problem with coffee ( other than getting too jittery) to give a french press unit a try. It can also be used to make loose tea in a way that is superior to teabags.

So excitement from shopping, home for lots of chopping and 35 minutes riding my new little friend. Years ago , before pregnancy, I had an old stationary bike that I would ride for an hour 6 days a week , along with a 45 minute walk most days. I used to pedal while watching my favorite shows , or chatting on the telephone with a friend. I want to work back up to that level- not so much for the weight loss benefits( my hormones have more to do with that than any intake or output of calories) , but for the stamina and mobility. We are going to take out first vacation in 20 years in a couple of weeks to The Great Smokey Mts, and I want to be able to hike a few trails and explore Cades Cove while on foot.There is something about that place that makes me feel like I have come home, and I have a suspicion that one of my ancestors may have lived there or something else. I don't know, but I want the opportunity to wander around there pain free and in freedom.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

A new friend, a new pizza and weigh in

Another good, pain free day, and an increase in activity. We are doing school 3 days a week during the summer, so for two days i get to devote more time to myself. Weekends are still going to be filled with all of the necessary errands and about a thousand commitments. Is it just me or is this summer going to be very busy ?

I my quest for "wings that work" ( I.E. Exercises that will strengthen my muscles enough to allow my joints to be supported enough to move with arthritis and not do further harm) I came across several sites written by physical therapists and the recommendation is stationary bike work as opposed to tread mills, and best exercise is water aerobics. No pool this year, no room for a full bike, so I mentioned to Bob I need a bike that is apartment friendly. He came home with this, my new little friend

It's basically pedals with a frame. All the cardio benefits of a bike without the seat or handles. Very portable and fits nicely in a really cramped space. So with the addition of My Little activity for yesterday came out to be this

15 minute walk outside( got cut short due to wardrobe malfunction)
50 wall push ups
25 wall slides
40 standing leg abductions
15 counter squats
35 Bridging
30 straight leg raises
20 calf raises
20 Power Knees
40 back kicks
20 isometric chest presses
100 "pull your navel in towards you backbone" thingies ( no idea what they are called, but they
help repair abdominal distasias ( separated ab muscles- thank you two surgeries !)
5 animal frolics (QiGong- an oriental exercise form sort mixing yoga with martial arts)
Qi Gong breathing exercise
cycle 15 minutes ( only because the bike did not enter my life till dinnertime)

For dinner , I made a new pizza- this time with a polenta crust. It turns our that this may be closer to what was actually eaten in earlier times by Italians. Not sure, but it is the best gluten free pizza option I have come across so far !

Polenta Pizza

1/2 cup milk
2 1/2 cups water
1 c cornmeal
1 T oil
toppings as desired ( here it was mushroom, cheese and sausage)

Bring milk and water to a boil, whisk in cornmeal, stirring
constantly till the mixture is as thick as oatmeal. Remove from
heat and stir in 1 T oil. Spread on a baking sheet to a depth of 1/2
inch, cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate 1 hour.Bake at 425 for
25 minutes till it begins to crisp. Prepare toppings( cook your sausage,
vegetables, etc). Place on crust, top with cheese and return to
the oven for 5 minutes, or till the cheese melts.

And another week has completed and it's time for weigh in

Me- UP 0,4
Nick - DOWN 2.8
Bob -DOWN 2.4

Friday, June 4, 2010

It's getting better all the time

Oh, my little herb friends, I could kiss you !! You may be common, green and thought of as weeds by many, but you have never let me down ! Yesterday was one of the "bestus" days I have had in a long time in regards to pain. Not only was I able to function in comfort, but I was able to get in some actual exercise ! Check out my activity log for the day

20 minute walk outside
Using guide at Safe exercise for arthritic joints here
50 wall push ups
20 wall slides
40 standing leg abductions
10 counter squats
25 Bridging( it's the Yoga position The Bridge)
30 straight leg raises
20 calf raises
20 Power Knees (Sit in a straight-backed chair and cross your legs above the ankles.
Your legs can be almost straight, or you can bend your knees as much as you like. Try several positions.
Push forward with your back leg and press backward with your front leg.
Exert pressure evenly so that your legs do not move. Hold and count out loud for ten seconds.
Relax. Change leg positions. Be sure to keep breathing.)
40 back kicks

I also slept so well that I woke up very, very early with the feeling that I have had enough sleep and I could start my day.I am sure that will fade, but it was very nice to be awakened by something other than pain. This stuff ROCKS !!! I have great faith in herbs because unlike drugs they have never let me down. Drugs always seem to work partway on my body and create a wake of problems in that course of action. Herbs have always gotten to the root cause, addressed it and the symptoms of the problem fade away. it is like the symptoms are the messenger of an imbalance and once the imbalance is addressed, there is no need for a messenger .

Food was also very good. Here is the log :

Food log
1/2 cup cottage cheese, 1 cup assorted melon cubes, 2 T ground flax. 1 T sliced almonds, coffee, 32 oz water
1 c 15 bean soup, 2 c cut veggies( carrots, celery, broccoli) 1/3 cup hummus, Diet Rite, 16 oz water, sugar free fudsicles ( we need to get these out of the freezer so we can make ice cubes)
2 c air popped popcorn, 16 oz water
Aloha pork with brown rice, roast broccoli and green salad with fruit and rosemary roast pecans, Diet Rite
Snack - nonfat plain yogert, blueberries and 1/3 cup Kashi crunch ( not Core so i had to count it)

Dinner was a spur of the moment change that involved the crock pot. I was feeling so good and wanted to just accomplish as much as I possibly could lest I started feeling a backlash of pain, and I did not want to be tied down making dinner at a specific time. The crock pot would give me the freedom to roam as I want to, so I grabbed this recipe from my files- Aloha Pork served with roast broccoli and a green salad tossed with the last of the melon cubes and rosemary roasted nuts ( THESE are potential crack !!)

Aloha Pork ( Gluten free, Core)

4 lean pork steaks ( Boneless skinless Chicken breasts would work fine as well)
2 tsp olive oil
1/2 fresh pineapple, cored , peeled and sliced
1/2 cup water
1/3 cup packed brown sugar twin
2 Tbsp quick-cooking tapioca
2 Tbsp - cat sup
2 tsp soy sauce
1/2 tsp - dry mustard
1 pint cherry tomatoes
2 cups hot cooked brown rice

In a large skillet brown the pork steaks on both sides in hot oil. Transfer the steaks to slow cooker.
In a bowl combine drained pineapple, water, brown sugar twin, tapioca, catsup, soy sauce, and dry mustard; pour over steaks.
Cover; cook on LOW for 6 to 8 hours (or on HIGH for 3 to 4 hours). At the last half hour, add the cherry tomatoes Skim fat from sauce.
Serve over hot cooked brown rice. Makes 4 servings

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Nettles- my love !!

It was another humid day yesterday, which meant another day of having to deal with arthritis. It gets SOOOO frustrating to know that you must move to not only lose weight but to just plain feel better but be in a state where every single step makes you feel like your knees are no longer going to support your body weight and you have to think about every step , looking for something to grab onto in the event that your joints do give out. It was one of those days where my arnica rub was not working, asprin was not working , nor was Tylenol Arthritis strength working ! However, I had to press on. We did school, I had the house to clean ( vacuuming while hanging on walls is an interesting thing), and I got the menu planned for next week. When Bob got home we had planned to go out shopping to one of the fabric stores to look for a pattern and fabric, but the pain was so bad I almost decided to skip it. I didn't , and I told myself at least in a store I will be able to walk around with the aid of a cart. It's not a marathon run or even a jog, but it is movement and I needed it. So we went, I really did not find any inspiration, and we came home. I drug my extremely achy body upstairs, and noticed a medicinal tincture I had made sometime back on the shelf, but had forgotten to use. It was labeled Arthritis Tincture, and I made it because it addresses two of the big issues with arthritis- pain and swelling. I was desperate for some relief ( to the point of seriously thinking about getting an appointment for a knee replacement), so I decided to give this a try. Just 10 drops in a glass of water. 20 minutes later, I felt the first real relief I have had in about 3 weeks . An hour later I was no longer needing to hang onto walls and other stable things when I walked. Last night when we went to bed i was able to feel comfortable instantly and when I woke up to pay a potty call I was able to simply stand up from the bed and walk. This stuff is a near miracle ! This morning I feel so good , we are going to go out for a walk once Nick wakes up. What's in it ? Willow bark and stinging nettles. Willow bark contains the same chemical compound as asprin, but before the refinment of a lab , and so it contains some natural compounds that prevent one of the worst side affects of asprin( bleeding). Nettles , amongst other things , help the body to block inflammatory substances from attacking the body. I think I am in love , once again, with nettles !!!

As to the rest of the day, food wise it was good. I have decided to keep and post a food log to help me transition into the Core program ...and give a reason to post food pictures again !

Food log
1/2 cup cottage cheese, 1 cup berries, 1/3 cup homemade granola ( oatmeal pumpkin seeds sliced almonds honey and oil), coffee, 32 oz water
1 oz deli ham, 1 cup carrot and celery sicks, 1 apple, 1 sugar free fudgsicle 16 oz water
3 cups air popped popcorn 16 oz water
1 1/2 cups 8 hr stew, green salad with 1 T cashew /Hibiscus mix, 1 T dressing, Diet rite soda
1 c nonfat plain yogurt, 1 cup frozen blueberries, 1/4 cup homemade granola

8 Hour Stew ( Gluten Free, Core)

3 cups peeled and cubed Potatoes
2 cups quartered Mushrooms
1 1/2 cups chopped Carrots
1 cup chopped Onions
2 cloves Garlic -- minced
1 tsp ground Thyme and dried Basil
1/2 tsp Black Pepper
2 lbs meat cut into 1" cubes ( I used pork)
1 cup FF Chicken broth
1 1/2 tbsp Tomato Paste
1 teaspoon lite Worcestershire Sauce
1/4 cup chopped fresh Parsley

Combine the first 8 ingredients in a 3-quart or larger crockpot.
Arrange meat over top of vegetables.
Mix broth, tomato paste and Worcestershire sauce in a small bowl.
Pour over meat.
Cover and cook on LOW setting for approximately 8 hours.
During the last hour, stir once or twice, breaking apart any turkey cubes that have stuck together. Be careful not to remove the lid for more
than a minute or so. Stir in parsley just before serving. Makes 6 servings

Off to walk and enjoy a pain free day !

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Thoughts about a change

Yesterday I began wondering if the now defunct Weight Watcher's Core program would not prove to be a good mix for me. It seems that the old Core has been absorbed or reinvented as the Filling Foods plan or part of their Turn Around plan. The reason I began wondering is that I had no reaction to eating gluten products, but I am having a reaction to excluding them in my diet. That reaction is in the form of constipation, and I know from previous experience with low carb food plans that it can become very serious in me, so this is a red flag to try something different. The old core plan stated that you eat until you are satisfied ( not full or all you can eat) of lean meats, fruits, vegetables and low fat dairy. Limits come in with whole wheat bread and pasta and one other product, but things like corn, popcorn, oatmeal, whole wheat couscous, bulgar, brown rice and polenta are not. You have to get in your good health goals of so many fruits, vegetables, dairy, protien and healthy oils as well as water and daily activity. For me, the mental reminder that healthy whole grain ( and gluten free) foods are okay can help to eliminate the problems with constipation. The limits of whole wheat products ( though I do not understand why whole wheat pasta is limited but whole wheat couscous and Bulgar are not). Bottom line with any program is that you have to eat less, eat more intelligently and get active, but different variations to that basic idea will serve some people better than others. I also have a collection of Core recipes in my software that will make it easy for me to make the plans, do the shopping list and keep on track.

Meanwhile, yesterday was a nice , companionable sort of day. School, sadly no exercise ( I was very tired all day long), and then a nice dinner. I made Southwest pork chops ( pork chops, Trader Joes Peach salsa, corn and black beans) and a salad of romaine, dandelion greens, watercress, berries and a tablespoon of rosemary roasted pecans and dried cranberries from Trader Joes. It was the best salad I have ever eaten ! Bob bought me a dozen roses ( aw!!) and I celebrated the day with a walnut brownie and some butter pecan ice cream. We were both so wiped out that we struggled to stay awake through Glee, and fell asleep about 15 minutes into Jillian Micheal's new show. Yeah, lock up your daughters folks- party animals sure live here !!!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

So begins another trip round the sun

On this day , 52 years ago in a modern hospital , I entered this world , backwards( frank breech) , squeaking and squealing with so much birth trauma that I was the last baby delivered by that doctor. He went on to be my pediatrician for the next 12 years , so my birth was not a total career crushing experience for him. That is not the point of this entry though- today is my birthday and the beginning of the 53rd trip I will make around the sun as a citizen of Planet Earth. I arrive at this point exactly the same weight I was this time last year ( in spite of making serious and committed efforts at weight loss for almost 3 years now), a little wiser and a little more achy than I was last year. Exercise and healthy eating will do a lot to improve a body, but we are not designed to live forever and the human machine does slowly break down. A 75 year old classic car does not preform like a modern Hybrid car, and a 50 something woman will not preform like a 30 year old. It's a fact, so why should I be upset about it ?? ( I am not, but I wanted to toss that out to any who might think that I am).

We had intended to go down to the cemetery yesterday but rain made us change our plans. Instead we went shopping to find Nick some summer clothes, continue the quest for wedding outfits and out for lunch. We found one for Nick, and after looking at several options I have decided to make my own. I am really looking forward to sewing clothes for myself again ! The clothes are good, but the scraps from construction and the possibility of a crazy quilt something afterwords is even better !We then came home and tried to solve a computer network problem that has both Bob and I totally confused ( and has eaten up a lot of time in the attempts to solve it). I did notice , while crawling around on the floor to retrieve cables from the under and behind of things that my legs seem to have less flexibility. Time to add some yoga to the mix I think ! Un limber muscles can be easily hurt for one thing. I have been neglecting those kinds of exercises in the quest to try to squeeze in as much cardio work as I can with limited time and resources. Cardio has really not been my friend in the least in this journey. I think perhaps as we age, different activities take on a greater level of importance. Our bodies just need different things.

No plans for anything special today . Just work out, first day of Summer School and the usual house things. We kind of celebrated over the weekend with kicking back from the normal somewhat, and I consider my new computer as my birthday present. All there is to do now is begin that 53rd trip round the sun. Perhaps if my hormones settle down I will arrive at this point next year 10 lbs less than today. That would be my birthday wish !