Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The Valley of Fear

I spent another day washing down walls, de-junking and deep cleaning yesterday, and my legs were so sore that I could not get up and down from a chair without pain. Considering this fact, I skipped other exercise and took some tylenol. My back muscles were also rather stiff so I laid on my stability ball to open up my back muscles gently. And as I lay there, rolling back and forth my mind wandered to a really bad place. I call it the Valley of Fear.

What if, no matter what I do , my body simply refuses to lose any more weight ? I am 50 and the normal process of aging makes the average person gain 10 pounds ( hormonal reasons). Biologically we do not require the same muscle mass that we do in our younger years and the bodies design adresses this. Then there is the entire female hormonal nutcase whirling dirvish dance to factor in.If that is not enough, then there is the fact that I lost 110 pounds to be able to conccive, did so and gained 75 pounds during that very risky and stressful pregnancy, lost 50 and then gained back friends. Yo-yo dieting ,if you will, and that messes up your metabolisim as well. I am am struggling so much with my weight right now that it is making me crazy. No matter what I do , the pounds either stay put or bring friends. It just makes no sense on any level, and things that do not make sense to be often turn into obsessions. Now to add to the mix of the non moving weight is constipation. Know all that they say about eating more fruits and vegetables , drinking water, healthy fats and moving to stop constipation ? My body seems to prove it contrary. While the low carb high protien approach worked in the past, it is not this time and creating more problems. So I get to be fat, discourages, frustrated AND uncomfortable. What a deal . So I think the answer here is to add more whole grains and see if this helps.

All I can do is just try, try again. As long as I try, I have not failed.

Veggie scramble ( egg beaters with asparagus, zuchinni, red peppers,
green onions, mushrooms, seasoned with tumeric and garlic, topped with salsa)
1 c nonfat yogert with 20 grapes and 1 T splenda
water, coffee

Bocca burger, celery sticks and baby carrots
1/2 c cottage cheese, 2 T ground flax seed, 1 blood orange
Diet Squirt

Ginger Tumeric grilled pork chop, brown rice
Brocoli/califlower/carrot blend, tossed salad
Diet Squirt

Morning- celery sticks and fat free cheese
afternoon -3 green teas, sugar free jello, sugar free pudding
evening- sugar free pudding, apple, tlc bar

exercise- 90 min
Wash walls 90 min

water 12 (96 oz)
Fruits 3
veg 9
lean protien 2
dairy 3
healthy fats 3


Marisa (Trim The Fat) said...

Wow, I'm still in awe of your wall washing!! Made me look at mine yesterday :(

I have had those bathroom issues, too. I found a great tea that helps without any cramping/discomfort or other bizarre side effects. It's called Smooth Move. I think the brand is Traditonal Medicine, maybe?? My mom and Gram also use it; it's great! I have found it in my local Giant grocery store and it's available at many health food stores. You can probably order it online too.

Amy said...

Yeah, I need some of that cleaning motivation.
Honey, you're doing the right thing. It's really hard. Hopefully, your body will start responding.

Sugar Bush Primitives said...

When I was 50 I could have written your post. What if you didn't lose any more weight? What would you do? Would your eating change? When you get to the other side of menopause (I'm there now) things do get easier. Here is what I wish someone would have told me. Eat as healthy as you can, try not to eat for any other reason than hunger, take short periods throughout the day to assess your frame of mind. Your body will eventually let go of what it doesn't need - and that includes excess weight. Sometimes the body needs time to take stock of a new lifestyle. Keep going and do the best you can! We're all pulling for you.

Sarah said...

I'm sorry you are struggling so much with this, you are doing so well too. Keep going, I've not experienced menopause so I have no help to add.