Thursday, February 5, 2009

Stopping a binge

I keep reading emails and blog posts about people who come across something that is a "red light" food , take a little and then lose control, and I feel for them. I so know what that is like, but unlike them I finally learned a powerful lesson on how to make it stop. It occurred to me that it would be worth sharing, as I have used that illustration with others for many different things since then.

I once weighed 310 pounds, and the reason I reached that weight was not nessisarily bad food choices, but that I could not stop eating once something I loved the taste of crossed my lips.I loved it, and it, I believed , loved me in return through giving me pleasure. If one piece of chocolate was good, a box was better. If a spoon of ice cream was nice, a half gallon was bliss. I think you know the drill. When it became clear to me that I absolutely must lose weight, I learned not only the science behind weight loss( eat less move more), but also the psycology behind the progress. I realized that I had an eating disorder, but not one that was so totally clear cut. I did a workbook session called Love Hungerthrough the Meredith Meyer Clinic, and learned my motivations, rational and triggers with food. I also learned some ways to stop myself once and for all.

One of the biggest, most powerful, most seductive foods on the planet to me then was carmel corn. If it was good caramel corn, I could eat nonstop for a week ! While dieting, my husband , sister and brother in law and I were in downtown Chicago for a fun evening. On State Street there used to be this place that sold perhaps the finest caramel corn on the planet. I was in recovery , so to speak, but I could not pass up the opportunity to get me some of this world famous yum. I knew it was bad for me, totally off my program, but it was Caramel Corn !!!!! I just could not resist ! Walking to the shop the aroma wafted in the air, like a siren song calling you to your death. Just like the sailors of old you no longer cared about or saw the danger. We walked throuh the door, and it was aeromatic bliss !! The Butter ! The brown sugar ! The fresh popped corn ! I bought a bag and dove in.

Something magical happened- my brain actually kicked in. The first mouthful was absolute heaven in taste and texture ! The second, pretty darned good. The third, okay you have made your point. The fourth- yeah that was fun, but what the heck are you doing ? The fifth, okay seriously this was enough. Eat more and I will make you hurt. The sixth and my brain was yelling FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP !!! This stuff is icky sweet and sticking to your teeth and making you feel icky sticky. Then suddenly, the blissful caramel corn in my hand turned to something rather disgusting in perception. I had ruined it ! I should have stopped at that first mouthful, because that was the only one I completely enjoyed . And then it occured to me that I really want every food experience I have in life to be that first bite ! I want it to be sensory bliss, and the only way I would acchive that is if I stopped the second anything ceased to be bliss. And since then, I have.My body decided to further that lesson as I aged by giving me heartburn if I do not stick to the first bite bliss limit with some foods like milk chocolate. That's really a handy thing because for some reason it is easier to step away from a food because it makes you sick rather than do it because you are trying to control your responses. Eating is nessisary for life, but we have been gifted with eyes and a nose and fingers to smell, see and touch what we intake, and these always respond favorably to plesant stimulus. So doesn't it seem logical that we were designed to have eating be a plesant sensory experience ? Stopping at the first bite of bliss will fulfill that design it seems. Anything beyond is abusing the system.
Now yesterday's log

Wii daily weigh in weigh in no change
exercise 55 min
Wii fit 15 min(Yoga)
AM Yoga 10 min( On Demand- could not do the whole routine)
walk outside 15 min(and try not to have my face freeze off)
Ab work 15 min
Breakfast- Lean, green protein
Spinach mushroom scrambled egg( 1/2 c Egg beater, 1 c frozen spinach,6 mushrooms,
1 small onion, olive oil, 2 T salsa), wedge of laughing cow lite
1 c nonfat yogert with cocoa powder,splenda and 2 T ground Flax( I adore this !)

Lunch- grillin and not chillin
2 grilled chicken avocado zuchini wraps( 2 romaine leaves, 4 oz chicken,1/4 avacado,4 slices zuchini)
carrot and celery sticks,left over slice of grilled zuchini, apple
Fiber One yogert,17 almonds,water ( We used to buy the fiber one yogerts ,but stopped. Will not buy them again as they are icky sweet)

Dinner- A bowl of comfort
Chicken/roast garlic/parmesagn sausage in Marinara over whole wheat couscous
tossed salad( the usual suspects plus black olives)
Diet Sierra mist


6 almonds ( waiting for my son to wake up so we could have breakfast)
sugar free chocolate pudding with 10 dark chcolate chips(wanted chocolate)
apple,1 sugar free string cheese

Filling foods 19
water 18 (144 oz)
Fruits 3
veg 9
lean protien 3
dairy 4
healthy fats 3


Dutch said...

I know what you mean. I used to work in downtown Chicago and the smell of that popcorn was heaven. I used to get half caramel and half cheese. It just melted in your mouth. I would have to pass by that store every day. Thanks for the insight. Have a great day.

JC said...

I read that we get the all the pleasure we are going to get out of any food in two bites so I remember that when I just have to have something wonderful. However, like you after time what was once wonderful & I could eat a lot is no longer true. A little bit or none will do just fine.

Don't you have a new picture on your side bar? Your looking great. Keep up the good work.

Chews to Lose said...

Thanks for sharing - I can use all of the help I can get.
I was watching a program the other day and the girl said that the first bite tastes just as good as the last one so why over indulge. Makes perfect sense.