Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Oh Mergatriod

Hey there Mergartoid, my friendly Wii fit balance board. Seems you insist I should at least do a body test each time I use you, and by that you tell me what my weight and Wii fit age is ,I think it only fair to warn you that if you do not cooperate and tell me that my efforts of less caloric intake and more movement are being affective, I will be forced to show you just how young, sharp and creative my mind can be in response to your pronouncements.(after all, you say we age from the bottom up, and while my knees and feet appear to be ready for the inner circle of the AARP,my head is definately otherwise). It is one thing for you to say I gain weight ( which happily you have stopped saying), but a whole other thing to tell me I am getting older. It's a mathematically based nonsensical pronouncement I know, but still, a girl has her pride.

So if tomorrow morning when I get on you dare to tell me I have aged 20 years because I fell off the balance board during the single leg balance test, I will be forced to introduce you to a new form of exercise. Extreme Pilates, or Combat Resistance training. Not sure which one is more appropriate in terminology. Here is how it will work though. I will take one of my Bally Pilates bands with handles and fasten said handles to 2 peices of heavy furnature, stretching the band tight. Then I will take you, Mergatroid, my little friend, place you on that band, point to my plate glass living room window, pull firmly and release you into the great outdoors. The impact will do you great harm and the snow on the ground will most likely do a number on your circits. Not a pretty sight in all that. So do we have an agreement ?? If you stop calling me old and fat, I will let you live to see another day.

Thank you,
your unamused Mii named Mom.