Friday, February 6, 2009

In honor of wear something red day


Okay, I admittedly have a twisted sense of humor. Today is National Wear Something Red Day for the American Heart Association to focus on heart disease. I have absolutely no red in my wardrobe , and the reason is not because I think it makes me look big or something, but rather that it seems to be redundant to wear red because of my birth mark. I mean, after all, I think I have more than enough red in my life as a result.

I was not going to post anything with me in red because of my wardrobe lack, but something I read on another blog made me think about one of my biggest, most annoying stumbling blocks to losing weight when I was younger. I was born with a large port wine birthmark that seems to have remained the same size my whole life, and my head has grown around it. When I was little my parents tried experimenting with corrective make ups that were absolutely horrible in feel ( picture Spackle on your face), and consultations with plastic surgeons to discuss surgical removal. Because of the proximity to my eye, they were reluctant to preform any procedure. Even in this day and age of laser removal I have been told it was too risky. So, as a young girl with a massive weight problem, I never tried to diet to please myself or from my own motivation. The reason was that no matter what size my body got to, I would remain with this great big red thing on my face that there was no hope of removing. Years went on, I met the love of my life and we married. For 7 years we could not get pregnant, and finally it was revealed that I have PCOS, and I had a definite motivation to lose weight for me. I lost 110 lbs, had a stillbirth, and then at long last my son. Things like weight and birthmarks did not seem that important anymore.

Then came the day when I realized my son had to lose weight or die, and the only way to get through to him was to do it along with him and be a great role model and mentor. Things were going great till one day I looked in the mirror and heard that stupid old head tape. What good will it do to lose weight when you will still have this thing on your face ? This time the motivation was different. There is something about being a mom that can empower you to do things like lift a train with your bear hands if it meant benefiting your child.Here was something within me that could sabotage all three of our efforts if I let it. Instead of giving up the goal, I decided to get myself to the cosmetic counter, learn about how things have improved, and buy me a solution. So I bought a vast arsenal of consealers and make up, and learned to make the stumbling block go away in a fashion that did not make me feel like an aut body repair job on legs. I rarely wear it because i am just not a make up kind of gal, but it is there, and knowing it is there has helped to remove a very huge personal stumbling block. I CAN lose the weight and be without this thing !

I think it is really important in a weight loss journey to find those things that prove as your own little stumbling blocks. What are the things that become the bottom line nay saying spectators that keep you from shooting for your goals and becoming the best you possible ? You may know what they are and think changing them is silly, but it is not. Weight is a lot more than a cosmetic thing, but rather one of the most affective things you can do twoards your overall health. If something keeps you from that goal, it is worth the time, effort and money to get it out of the way. Your heart, liver,bones, lungs and more will be so glad you did.

3 comments:

Squishy ! said...

My daughter developed a couple big birthmarks after she was born. They are on her back though, so they don't bother her. She actually seems to like rubbing one of them, because it got squishy after the hematoma was reabsorbed.

It's amazing, how the different circumstances of our lives affect our weight, isn't it? You and I have some similar experiences, and it's nice to have good company on this journey. :o )

JC said...

Thanks so much for this post and for the comment you left on my site. You really, really do understand. It is the tape in my head that keeps saying it doesn't matter how much you lose you will still have an ugly smile. Thanks so much for caring enough to take the time to give me advice. I can and I will do something to stop that tape. Have a great weekend.

Graciela said...

This is a wonderful post. You are truly an inspiration to me, when I read about how dedicated you are to your family. It's truly humbling for me to read about your life.

They really are doing a lot of amazing things now days with makeup, things that were not possible years ago. So I hope you have found something that will help you at the times you feel the need to use it for a special occasion.

Thanks again for your post, and take care.