Okay, I have to admit that nothing makes me feel more alive than when I am cracking some mental mystery. I can lose myself in it for months, and forget just about anything else in life in pursuit of it. If I find the right pathway, the right wording attached to an explanation that allows me to find the logical progression, I get hopelessly lost in learning all I can, and o reach a state of bliss. Such happened yesterday. After breakfast and 30 minutes peddaling i was prompted to pick up a book on energy medicine that i had bought and read over a year ago because something was telling me that there was something in there I needed. Once there I found a small little paragraph that shed a spotlight on one of the problems that women with PCOS face. It is a point in the hormonal cycle where things go haywire. The female hormonal cycle is not just a dance of estrogen and progesterone , but rather a complex interplay of 14 hormones. One of which is FSH- folicle stimulating hormone. One of the jobs of this munchkin is to increase the blood supply to the ovaries, making them move closer to the falopian tube in anticipation of ovulation. It then signals to a folicle to get this party started and produce this months pagent queen( an egg). This in turn makes the pageant queen ( egg) turn into corpus lutiem and begins to produce GABA, which affects our moods. If GABA is produced too quickly ( or too much in the case of PCOS women who have several agent queens attempting to get on stage at once and the stage collapses, so they become cysts instead of eggs, but still produce massive amounts of GABA together), it floods the adrenal glands ( which is command central for the hormone dance). The Adrenals literally freak out and begin to produce cortisol. Cortisol is kind of the General Patton of the hormone world. It runs through screaming "we are under attack ! This is not a drill ! " and the body tenses up, begins to store things in anticipation of having food supplies cut off and the body acts accordingly. It begins to store abdominal fat, around the middle like a spare tire. Estrogen makes women store fat in there hips, breasts and buttocks in preparation for carrying and nursing a child, but cortisol says forget about that - we are all gonna die !!!!!!!!!!! Cortisol yells violently at estrogen and it begins to sneak off and hide like an abused woman. For this reason , PCOS women were often out on birth control pills because it was believed that the root cause of all the problems was the fsh hormone. Since then the mindset is that the root is a metabolic disorder, but now some are begining to see that the root problem lies in an energetic weakness in the kidney meridian. Meridians are the channels through which our life energy or essence flows. In the west we almost never hear of these , let alone know how to help or heal them. In the east however, they are the focus of acupuncture, acupressure, qigong and other such practices.
All in all, it tells me that I am right on with the gut feeling that my reasons for this very long weight loss stall have more to do with a stuck energy problem than calories or movement. I want to learn more and work to re balance this.
Showing posts with label PCOS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label PCOS. Show all posts
Friday, June 18, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
I will no longer be feeling my Wheaties
I think I was given a whole new reason to believe that I may indeed be gluten intolerant or sensitive - arthritis.
Let me explain. Arthritis is one of many ways the bodies immune system can go crazy. What arthritis basically is ,is the body attacking itself because it sees it's own cells as an invaider. The way the body protects cells from invadiers is to isolate the problem, attack it and then dispose of it ( "allright youse- da boys is gonna take ya out back, rough ya up and then send yas ta swim wit da fishes!") In a normal immune system this happens only with bacteria, viruses, splinters and so forth. When the immune system becomes overloaded because of a constant bombardment from a substance that does not agree with that individual body chemetry, it clicks into overdrive and basically panic ensues. At one point it becomes classified as an allergic response , a sensitivity or an intolerance. The immune sytem produces an inflammetory response, which is the way that it isolates things like bacteria. It surrounds the substance with fluids to isolate it and protect the body. The body in turn becomes inflamed ( this is a really basic explanation of what happens ). Arthritis is an inflammetory response to an invader gone wrong. PCOS is another, and there are many others. Atherosclerosis is another at a most basic level. I have had arthritis since I was 19, brought on from an injury. Or so I thought.
Yesterday afternoon we had the opportunity to get out and do some wild plant hunting. I am in search of nettles, and they can often be found in waste sort of places that are close to water. They can be picked with care and once dried or cooked they lose their sting and you are left with a very nutritious thing. I was feeling stiff in the morning , but thought nothing about it and made plans to go in the afternoon. We went, dry and sunny day ( which should be a pain free day with arthritis), but I was finding it not only painful to walk but HARD to walk. My knee was so affected that it was not bending right. As we got out into the open spaces, it was getting worse. My friend water hemlock is still in full bloom, and I am having a hard time adjusting to him this year. Walking was painful, I could not find any young nettles, so we went back home. The pain was getting really bad in my knees, and by the time we got back in out apartment and I went to take off my shoes, I fell. Putting pressure on the bad knee with the swelling was just too much for it. I only injured my pride , but it jolted something loose in my brain.
One of the articles I was reading mentioned that a gluten insensitivity can also cause an arthritic response. In the past 2 days I ate wheat at 3 meals. Perhaps this is the reason why I was having such a bad flare this day. The gluten intolerance may be responsible for my arthritis getting worse instead of better with movement, bringing about the sensitivity to the water hemlock that I have never had before as well as the PCOS. Thinking back on different life events and remembering different foods and responses, it makes sense. Gluten intolerance could have been responsible for my nonstop ear infections, tonsil problems, respiratory problems , PCOS and so much more. It just encourages me to give gluten free a try.
Still stiff this morning. I think with flares based on gluten it takes my body a day to begin showing the reaction and three days to rid it. All I can do is try tis way and see if it works. And just for the heck of it I stepped on the scale this morning to see what that had to say. Down 0.8 from Saturday. I am optimistic
Let me explain. Arthritis is one of many ways the bodies immune system can go crazy. What arthritis basically is ,is the body attacking itself because it sees it's own cells as an invaider. The way the body protects cells from invadiers is to isolate the problem, attack it and then dispose of it ( "allright youse- da boys is gonna take ya out back, rough ya up and then send yas ta swim wit da fishes!") In a normal immune system this happens only with bacteria, viruses, splinters and so forth. When the immune system becomes overloaded because of a constant bombardment from a substance that does not agree with that individual body chemetry, it clicks into overdrive and basically panic ensues. At one point it becomes classified as an allergic response , a sensitivity or an intolerance. The immune sytem produces an inflammetory response, which is the way that it isolates things like bacteria. It surrounds the substance with fluids to isolate it and protect the body. The body in turn becomes inflamed ( this is a really basic explanation of what happens ). Arthritis is an inflammetory response to an invader gone wrong. PCOS is another, and there are many others. Atherosclerosis is another at a most basic level. I have had arthritis since I was 19, brought on from an injury. Or so I thought.
Yesterday afternoon we had the opportunity to get out and do some wild plant hunting. I am in search of nettles, and they can often be found in waste sort of places that are close to water. They can be picked with care and once dried or cooked they lose their sting and you are left with a very nutritious thing. I was feeling stiff in the morning , but thought nothing about it and made plans to go in the afternoon. We went, dry and sunny day ( which should be a pain free day with arthritis), but I was finding it not only painful to walk but HARD to walk. My knee was so affected that it was not bending right. As we got out into the open spaces, it was getting worse. My friend water hemlock is still in full bloom, and I am having a hard time adjusting to him this year. Walking was painful, I could not find any young nettles, so we went back home. The pain was getting really bad in my knees, and by the time we got back in out apartment and I went to take off my shoes, I fell. Putting pressure on the bad knee with the swelling was just too much for it. I only injured my pride , but it jolted something loose in my brain.
One of the articles I was reading mentioned that a gluten insensitivity can also cause an arthritic response. In the past 2 days I ate wheat at 3 meals. Perhaps this is the reason why I was having such a bad flare this day. The gluten intolerance may be responsible for my arthritis getting worse instead of better with movement, bringing about the sensitivity to the water hemlock that I have never had before as well as the PCOS. Thinking back on different life events and remembering different foods and responses, it makes sense. Gluten intolerance could have been responsible for my nonstop ear infections, tonsil problems, respiratory problems , PCOS and so much more. It just encourages me to give gluten free a try.
Still stiff this morning. I think with flares based on gluten it takes my body a day to begin showing the reaction and three days to rid it. All I can do is try tis way and see if it works. And just for the heck of it I stepped on the scale this morning to see what that had to say. Down 0.8 from Saturday. I am optimistic
Sunday, May 16, 2010
The bread, the scale and other things
So how is it going for weight loss, you may ask ? We have been following a nutrient dense diet with doing a minimum of 30 minutes of exercise in some form 6 days a week. Lots of fresh fruits, veggies, lean meats, whole grains, fat free or low fat dairy and healthy oils. Other than fruits, sugars are limited to no more than 13 grams per serving and sodium is in the very low range. Sounds like a formula for success- so how is it manifesting? Nick finally broke the plateau he was stalled at, Bob has begun to lose again but my body is reading things very different. Loss stalled to about a pound or less, then gain, then stall, and gain some more. It seems that I am still losing and gaining the same 5 lbs. This has been going on for 2 years now, mainly because I keep ignoring the needs of my own body type. I drop the vigilance about starch servings and I can literally gain weight eating lettuce. I think I need to have the starch serving recommendations tattooed on my forehead !
Last week I lost 0.2 lbs and this week I gained 1.6 lbs - not a huge amount but I am taking it to be a heads up that I need to change what I am doing. While I am eating very healthy foods, I am eating too many starches for my body. This week I am going to try to drop most of these in favor of other foods. Fruits are good, veggies are good, meat and fats are good, but the starch group leads me into problems. I am not going as drastic as, say Atkins, but I do need to keep the starch servings down to less than 3 per day, and better if it can be kept to 2 and all of those must be whole grains.
It got me to wondering if there has been any serious thought about the connection between PCOS and these starch carbs. What exactly does it? So I hit Google to investigate, and was rewarded with a boatload of pages. It seems the most recent thinking is that PCOS may be a result of underlying gluten intolerance. Wow! It would make perfect sense from my experience. Perhaps if I adopt a gluten free approach to weight loss it might work. I don’t know if it would involve the hidden sources of gluten (such as that in sauces), but rather an elimination of the bigger sources would be enough? It seems that with PCOS eating whole grain, low GI (glycemic index- which means how it impacts your body as a sugar) grains and fruits with fat and protein works best (oatmeal with cottage cheese or nuts, whole grain crackers and nuts and so forth). Fruits should be eaten with protein as well- apples and peanut butter, strawberries and almonds and so forth. For many, the avoidance of fruits high on the GI index such as melons have proven to be helpful, but I don’t believe that has been a factor with me. It does merit testing out if simply cutting back grain serving does not help.
So my current menu is going to look something like this: Breakfast will be cottage cheese and fruit with a serving of granola (made with oatmeal, nuts, healthy oil and honey) or eggs with vegetables. Lunch will be a soup made with beans, meat and vegetables or a salad with meat and beans, and dinner will be meat or beans and vegetables and a starch serving of brown rice, bulgur or one of the healthier pastas. Snacks will be nonfat yogurt and fruit with granola or hardboiled egg and fruit or lunch meat with a veggie. It’s not radically different, but allows me some mental reminders for the nights when the guys really want something more carby for dinner.
So with this knowledge in hand we went grocery shopping and I added butchering to my Mount Chop Me weekly task. Big pork loins, slab of beef and assorted chicken and sausage things were converted into chops, roasts, stir fries and components for soups or casseroles. This week we got a late start due to Bob being called to sing for a funeral Saturday morning. As much as one would like to, you cannot schedule death, but rather life has to be arranged to accommodate it. We did not finish shopping till about 3 pm and once we got home I went into chopping mode. The guys helped put things away, sort through other things and we worked as a team. All the while the clock was ticking, and suddenly it was after 7 ( we normally eat at 5), chopping was not done and dinner was still about an hour off in preparation. We were all starving, so we consented to ordering one of those big round carby cheesy things with tomato sauce, sausage and veggies. It was good and necessary in this case, but I am kind of cringing at how it may affect me at next week’s weigh in. Rather than be upset by it, I am counting my blessings. We have a roof over our heads to store all this good stuff in, we have money and secure employment to finance it with (as a matter of fact Bob just got a raise and a Promotion at his 9-5 pay the bills and insurance job), we all understand why the big round thing was necessary and we have a place that makes a darned good one. I also have a whole week to follow the guidelines my own body has, so it will be a good week !
Last week I lost 0.2 lbs and this week I gained 1.6 lbs - not a huge amount but I am taking it to be a heads up that I need to change what I am doing. While I am eating very healthy foods, I am eating too many starches for my body. This week I am going to try to drop most of these in favor of other foods. Fruits are good, veggies are good, meat and fats are good, but the starch group leads me into problems. I am not going as drastic as, say Atkins, but I do need to keep the starch servings down to less than 3 per day, and better if it can be kept to 2 and all of those must be whole grains.
It got me to wondering if there has been any serious thought about the connection between PCOS and these starch carbs. What exactly does it? So I hit Google to investigate, and was rewarded with a boatload of pages. It seems the most recent thinking is that PCOS may be a result of underlying gluten intolerance. Wow! It would make perfect sense from my experience. Perhaps if I adopt a gluten free approach to weight loss it might work. I don’t know if it would involve the hidden sources of gluten (such as that in sauces), but rather an elimination of the bigger sources would be enough? It seems that with PCOS eating whole grain, low GI (glycemic index- which means how it impacts your body as a sugar) grains and fruits with fat and protein works best (oatmeal with cottage cheese or nuts, whole grain crackers and nuts and so forth). Fruits should be eaten with protein as well- apples and peanut butter, strawberries and almonds and so forth. For many, the avoidance of fruits high on the GI index such as melons have proven to be helpful, but I don’t believe that has been a factor with me. It does merit testing out if simply cutting back grain serving does not help.
So my current menu is going to look something like this: Breakfast will be cottage cheese and fruit with a serving of granola (made with oatmeal, nuts, healthy oil and honey) or eggs with vegetables. Lunch will be a soup made with beans, meat and vegetables or a salad with meat and beans, and dinner will be meat or beans and vegetables and a starch serving of brown rice, bulgur or one of the healthier pastas. Snacks will be nonfat yogurt and fruit with granola or hardboiled egg and fruit or lunch meat with a veggie. It’s not radically different, but allows me some mental reminders for the nights when the guys really want something more carby for dinner.
So with this knowledge in hand we went grocery shopping and I added butchering to my Mount Chop Me weekly task. Big pork loins, slab of beef and assorted chicken and sausage things were converted into chops, roasts, stir fries and components for soups or casseroles. This week we got a late start due to Bob being called to sing for a funeral Saturday morning. As much as one would like to, you cannot schedule death, but rather life has to be arranged to accommodate it. We did not finish shopping till about 3 pm and once we got home I went into chopping mode. The guys helped put things away, sort through other things and we worked as a team. All the while the clock was ticking, and suddenly it was after 7 ( we normally eat at 5), chopping was not done and dinner was still about an hour off in preparation. We were all starving, so we consented to ordering one of those big round carby cheesy things with tomato sauce, sausage and veggies. It was good and necessary in this case, but I am kind of cringing at how it may affect me at next week’s weigh in. Rather than be upset by it, I am counting my blessings. We have a roof over our heads to store all this good stuff in, we have money and secure employment to finance it with (as a matter of fact Bob just got a raise and a Promotion at his 9-5 pay the bills and insurance job), we all understand why the big round thing was necessary and we have a place that makes a darned good one. I also have a whole week to follow the guidelines my own body has, so it will be a good week !
Friday, May 14, 2010
A weighty history
Warning- this will be long !
I want to share with you today my own weight story- or the reason Why I weigh what I do in spite of following the advice that has brought so many others to weight loss. I include pictures from my life to illustrate what I am talking about here.
Something hit me yesterday as I was reading blogs of those also struggling with weight. While the vast majority of folks on this road were at one time thin and became obese for a variety of reasons, I have never been a thin person. Not even for a minute.
I was born at 8 lbs and by the time I was a month old ( pictured above) I had chubby arms and legs and dimpled knees. I spent my early childhood in very active pursuits, eating normal amounts and varieties, but weighing infinitely more than I should. My sister who was 18 months younger than me would eat pounds of cookies, cakes, sugar and she was a very thin to normal sized kid.People would often tell me that if I would follow her example, I too would be thin. My sister and I would both laugh, because we knew the truth. Appearances can be very deceptive. Here we are at ages 4 and 2
I began school in the first grade (skipped kindergarten for some reason) weighing a whopping 200 lbs. My grandmother said it was because I had concrete bones, because while I was heavy, I did not look like I had 200 lbs on my frame.( I think scales have hated me all my life and operate differently once I step on them) This is what a 200 lb first grader looks like.
I spent my childhood running, playing with all the other children , and for summer vacations as a family we would camp and do wilderness backpacking. As I grew older we began taking canoe trips into the wilderness that boarders Minnesota and Canada. I ate normal, was very active, but still my weight krept up for no apparent reason. Here I am at 9, and puberty is begining to take hold
I went through high school as an overweight person, walking 5-10 miles a night with my friends just for fun, swimming with the park district swim team and my weight continued to creep up. My mom would put me on various diets ( Stillman, calorie counting , Aydes reducing plan, exercise classes) and nothing worked. I did manage to become severely dehydrated once and wound up in the hospital emergency room needing tests to check for kidney failure, but I never lost any weight. Here I am as a Sophomore with the same sister who was now a Freshman after a concert we sang in
When I was 18 I began to develop facial hair- not a light mustache, but a full on beard that required daily shaving.( I still have it) My periods stopped for a year. The medical communities answer to this was “lose weight and all will be fine”. I attempted Weight Watchers for the first time , lost 20 lbs and then the weight loss stopped in spite of following the program to the letter. The weight came back and never left. Here I am at 21 with Bob. It is the earliest picture of us together
When I was 22 I married my soul mate , and we intended to have children right away. He came from a family of 6, I came from one of 5 and both had branches of our extended families that had 10 or more children. It seemed all you had to do was have a man shake out his pants in your vicinity and pregnancy would result. Here I am on our wedding day with some of my best friends at the time.
Our first year passed, and no baby and once again a full year without a period, so I went to consult my Doctors to see if there was a problem. The answer was Clomid,a fertility drug, with the express warning that if I conceived while on this drug I would have to abort . ( excuse me, but WHAT ??? Why in the heck am I taking this and how can it be a fertility drug if I would have to abort because of it ???)Made absolutely no sense to me, and the single month of Clomid made me completely insane. I decided to pursue other avenues instead of going through that torture again.( Incidentally, they have changed their minds about babies conceived on Clomid, and I believe The Gosslin sextuplets are a result of that drug) The Clomid did produce one affect though- weight gain ! I blossomed to 290 with it’s aid. My younger sisters all began to have children, and at least if I could not be a mom I got to be a great Auntie ! Here I am with my oldest niece, close to 300 lbs
I was also told at that time that I must go in for stomach stapling to lose weight or I would be dead by age 30. Not based on a measure of blood pressure, cholesterol or anything beyond the number on the scale, which before Clomid was 260. (Incidentally I said no to the surgery, and at age 51 and 240 lbs, I am very much alive, thank you). This picture was from sometime during those infertile years
Years passed, no baby, no hope till one day I stumbled upon a Naturopath who seemed to have a radical idea. Excess weight is not only a result of what you eat and how you move, but a metabolic reaction that is caused by a malfunction in the ovaries. Normally a woman produces an egg every month of her adult fertile life. Through a complex hormone sequence, beginning in the pituitary gland, hormones are released that send messages to the thyroid, adrenal glands, liver and ovaries, and when the proper blend is released, a follicle in the ovary ripens and an egg is produced. If the egg is not fertilized it will be sloughed off with her monthly bleeding( along with the lining to the uterus which has been building up in preparation for an embryo to implant). In this malfunction, the ovary produces follicle after follicle, which fail to release an egg, but turn into multiple cysts. This in turn sends a further chemical reaction to the entire body, basically saying produce more of this hormone, less of that "and from here on out we will interpret _ as _". This malfunction is called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, or PCOS for short. For reasons not totally understood, the root cause may lie in the metabolic process of the body, and a diet increasing fats and proteins but decreasing starches can help bring the body weight down, ease the hormonal cycle and bring the body to a sense of normal function. PCOS can cause infertility, hirtsuism( excessive hair growth), severe acne, elevated androgen levels( makes your body look more male than female), Metabolic syndrome, increased risk of miscarriage, heart disease, diabetes and ovarian cancer amongst other things. Weight loss will not cure PCOS, for there is no cure. It can, however, make conception and a healthier metabolic make up possible.
I followed this advice without an official diagnosis, lost 110 pounds, at long last conceived and after a stillbirth had a healthy son,( who is in the above picture at 4 months old in a baby backpack that I loved to carry him in while we went walking). PCOS was not done with me, for after that pregnancy I went on to conceive and miscarry 4 more times , and with each pregnancy my metabolic situation has gotten harder and harder to budge. After my last miscarriage a very compassionate GP discovered that I have an elevated androgen level and an ultrasound revealed that I did indeed have PCOS. It was not news to me, but I appreciated having formal confirmation at last. Weight loss is something I keep striving for because if I never try, I have indeed failed, but if I keep trying I am at least still in the fight. I also do it to be a mentor to my son, who gained a massive amount of weight due to food texture issues that manifested through Autism. We are dealing with a whole different faucet of childhood obesity. PCOS is still a factor in my life , and is making the transition into menopause interesting to say the least.
I read blogs about those who were thin, gained and they express the shame and disappointment they felt in themselves for gaining weight. I have never had that feeling , and often wonder what these people would do if they were blessed with this body condition ?. My body, for whatever weird reason, has made me larger than life for the entire time I have been on this planet. It was not laziness, bad habits, emotional eating, binging or any other thing outside of two small almond sized organs residing in my lower abdomen that caused my weight. On the upside, without them I would have never been gifted with my son, so it’s not all bad. People have made comments and judged me in the past because of my weight, but I never let it bother me. Long ago I seemed to have learned a truth that Wayne Dyer speaks of, and that is that your opinion of me is none of my business. This means I am genuinely happy within my skin, and that I am so much more than what the outside state of me would indicate. It does not mean I do not try to change that picture , because I genuinely love a challenge. I love to tackle things that people say are impossible or that simply cannot be done. Bring it on !
I want to share with you today my own weight story- or the reason Why I weigh what I do in spite of following the advice that has brought so many others to weight loss. I include pictures from my life to illustrate what I am talking about here.
Something hit me yesterday as I was reading blogs of those also struggling with weight. While the vast majority of folks on this road were at one time thin and became obese for a variety of reasons, I have never been a thin person. Not even for a minute.
I was born at 8 lbs and by the time I was a month old ( pictured above) I had chubby arms and legs and dimpled knees. I spent my early childhood in very active pursuits, eating normal amounts and varieties, but weighing infinitely more than I should. My sister who was 18 months younger than me would eat pounds of cookies, cakes, sugar and she was a very thin to normal sized kid.People would often tell me that if I would follow her example, I too would be thin. My sister and I would both laugh, because we knew the truth. Appearances can be very deceptive. Here we are at ages 4 and 2
I began school in the first grade (skipped kindergarten for some reason) weighing a whopping 200 lbs. My grandmother said it was because I had concrete bones, because while I was heavy, I did not look like I had 200 lbs on my frame.( I think scales have hated me all my life and operate differently once I step on them) This is what a 200 lb first grader looks like.
I spent my childhood running, playing with all the other children , and for summer vacations as a family we would camp and do wilderness backpacking. As I grew older we began taking canoe trips into the wilderness that boarders Minnesota and Canada. I ate normal, was very active, but still my weight krept up for no apparent reason. Here I am at 9, and puberty is begining to take hold
I went through high school as an overweight person, walking 5-10 miles a night with my friends just for fun, swimming with the park district swim team and my weight continued to creep up. My mom would put me on various diets ( Stillman, calorie counting , Aydes reducing plan, exercise classes) and nothing worked. I did manage to become severely dehydrated once and wound up in the hospital emergency room needing tests to check for kidney failure, but I never lost any weight. Here I am as a Sophomore with the same sister who was now a Freshman after a concert we sang in
When I was 18 I began to develop facial hair- not a light mustache, but a full on beard that required daily shaving.( I still have it) My periods stopped for a year. The medical communities answer to this was “lose weight and all will be fine”. I attempted Weight Watchers for the first time , lost 20 lbs and then the weight loss stopped in spite of following the program to the letter. The weight came back and never left. Here I am at 21 with Bob. It is the earliest picture of us together
When I was 22 I married my soul mate , and we intended to have children right away. He came from a family of 6, I came from one of 5 and both had branches of our extended families that had 10 or more children. It seemed all you had to do was have a man shake out his pants in your vicinity and pregnancy would result. Here I am on our wedding day with some of my best friends at the time.
Our first year passed, and no baby and once again a full year without a period, so I went to consult my Doctors to see if there was a problem. The answer was Clomid,a fertility drug, with the express warning that if I conceived while on this drug I would have to abort . ( excuse me, but WHAT ??? Why in the heck am I taking this and how can it be a fertility drug if I would have to abort because of it ???)Made absolutely no sense to me, and the single month of Clomid made me completely insane. I decided to pursue other avenues instead of going through that torture again.( Incidentally, they have changed their minds about babies conceived on Clomid, and I believe The Gosslin sextuplets are a result of that drug) The Clomid did produce one affect though- weight gain ! I blossomed to 290 with it’s aid. My younger sisters all began to have children, and at least if I could not be a mom I got to be a great Auntie ! Here I am with my oldest niece, close to 300 lbs
I was also told at that time that I must go in for stomach stapling to lose weight or I would be dead by age 30. Not based on a measure of blood pressure, cholesterol or anything beyond the number on the scale, which before Clomid was 260. (Incidentally I said no to the surgery, and at age 51 and 240 lbs, I am very much alive, thank you). This picture was from sometime during those infertile years
Years passed, no baby, no hope till one day I stumbled upon a Naturopath who seemed to have a radical idea. Excess weight is not only a result of what you eat and how you move, but a metabolic reaction that is caused by a malfunction in the ovaries. Normally a woman produces an egg every month of her adult fertile life. Through a complex hormone sequence, beginning in the pituitary gland, hormones are released that send messages to the thyroid, adrenal glands, liver and ovaries, and when the proper blend is released, a follicle in the ovary ripens and an egg is produced. If the egg is not fertilized it will be sloughed off with her monthly bleeding( along with the lining to the uterus which has been building up in preparation for an embryo to implant). In this malfunction, the ovary produces follicle after follicle, which fail to release an egg, but turn into multiple cysts. This in turn sends a further chemical reaction to the entire body, basically saying produce more of this hormone, less of that "and from here on out we will interpret _ as _". This malfunction is called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, or PCOS for short. For reasons not totally understood, the root cause may lie in the metabolic process of the body, and a diet increasing fats and proteins but decreasing starches can help bring the body weight down, ease the hormonal cycle and bring the body to a sense of normal function. PCOS can cause infertility, hirtsuism( excessive hair growth), severe acne, elevated androgen levels( makes your body look more male than female), Metabolic syndrome, increased risk of miscarriage, heart disease, diabetes and ovarian cancer amongst other things. Weight loss will not cure PCOS, for there is no cure. It can, however, make conception and a healthier metabolic make up possible.
I followed this advice without an official diagnosis, lost 110 pounds, at long last conceived and after a stillbirth had a healthy son,( who is in the above picture at 4 months old in a baby backpack that I loved to carry him in while we went walking). PCOS was not done with me, for after that pregnancy I went on to conceive and miscarry 4 more times , and with each pregnancy my metabolic situation has gotten harder and harder to budge. After my last miscarriage a very compassionate GP discovered that I have an elevated androgen level and an ultrasound revealed that I did indeed have PCOS. It was not news to me, but I appreciated having formal confirmation at last. Weight loss is something I keep striving for because if I never try, I have indeed failed, but if I keep trying I am at least still in the fight. I also do it to be a mentor to my son, who gained a massive amount of weight due to food texture issues that manifested through Autism. We are dealing with a whole different faucet of childhood obesity. PCOS is still a factor in my life , and is making the transition into menopause interesting to say the least.
I read blogs about those who were thin, gained and they express the shame and disappointment they felt in themselves for gaining weight. I have never had that feeling , and often wonder what these people would do if they were blessed with this body condition ?. My body, for whatever weird reason, has made me larger than life for the entire time I have been on this planet. It was not laziness, bad habits, emotional eating, binging or any other thing outside of two small almond sized organs residing in my lower abdomen that caused my weight. On the upside, without them I would have never been gifted with my son, so it’s not all bad. People have made comments and judged me in the past because of my weight, but I never let it bother me. Long ago I seemed to have learned a truth that Wayne Dyer speaks of, and that is that your opinion of me is none of my business. This means I am genuinely happy within my skin, and that I am so much more than what the outside state of me would indicate. It does not mean I do not try to change that picture , because I genuinely love a challenge. I love to tackle things that people say are impossible or that simply cannot be done. Bring it on !
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